The Story

I realized as I read through some of my posts (yes I re-read my own posts like a thousand times!) that I never even told the story how I ended up with arthritis, or what it was like the day I was diagnosed and since the job hunt is driving me nuts right now, I figured I could take some time to do so. Here it is, the story of the beginning of a whole new life...not exactly the life I wanted but the one I was handed::

It was April 1, 2004 (yes April Fools day) and a friend, who we shall call "A", and I had just finished horseback riding. We went back to my dad's rental house, he was in the process of waiting for his house to be re-built after the 2003 Cedar Fire, to take showers and get ready for whatever adventure was awaiting us that night.  As I was taking a shower I yelled out to A that I really wanted some ice cream, preferably Cold Stone ice cream. She agreed and offered to drive us there and to save gas and money of course I agreed, that was my biggest mistake. We climbed in her two door white Honda civic and started our way out of my neighborhood when she mentioned that she didn't know how to set the clock on her car stereo and was wondering if I would be able to do it. I reached into her center console, which I left the lid open, and started browsing through the owners manual to find how to set the clock. She turned down one of the main streets in the town we were in, the town I had grown up in, and continued driving, and I continued trying to set that damn stereo clock. In the flash of a second a moment of dread came over me and I thought to myself "we should've stopped there", and before I could even look up or react I heard A scream and felt the impact of the car coming to a sudden stop into the side of a Chevy Silverado. Other than the scream all I remember is the hood crumpling in on us and A running around frantically telling me the car was going to explode and that I needed to get out of the car. I tried to move my right leg and it was as if my brain and my leg weren't working together, they didn't want to function together in a positive way. I looked at her with tears in my eyes and just started screaming "I can't feel my fucking leg!!" Finally I was pulled from the car by someone who still remains unknown to me, and when I hit the pavement I heard a loud pop and all the sudden the feeling rushed back into my leg and I hobbled with the help of strangers to the curb. I don't remember much other than my elbow was bleeding all down my favorite pants because it had gotten stuck on the lid to the center console, my hip hurt and there were paramedics swarming around me telling me I needed to go to the hospital because they were pretty sure at one point my hip had become dislocated. From that moment of them taking me into the ambulance it is all pretty mundane. I got to the ER, they told me since they had no proof of the dislocation they would give me crutches I should use for the next few days and I should be fine. They stitched up my elbow and sent me on my way home with no real explanation of what had happened to me and what the possible consequences might be.
Fast forward six months later and my boyfriend at the time (who is now my husband) had surprised me with a trip to Disneyland for Halloween! I was so excited and was bouncing all over the truck the whole two hour drive up there. I couldn't contain myself, a man who loved Disneyland with me?! What could be better!! We started our day in Adventureland and began to work our way through New Orleans when I realized how tired I already was. I had no idea what was going on, I realized I had gained some weight, okay gained A LOT of weight, but I mostly attributed it to not horseback riding anymore and becoming incredibly comfortable in the relationship I was in. Throughout the day I continually became tired and having to sit down. I was experiencing weird pains in my right hip, debilitating pains where tears would brim in my eyes on the verge of exploding over. I didn't know what was wrong, but I did know I was scared shitless. On the way home I was telling Rob how I felt, how scared I was and he told me that I should go see the doctor, see what they say. The next day I called and made an appointment to see my physician.
It took four visits, two doctors, and one MRI for them to finally diagnose me. At first it was traumatic arthritis of the right hip and quickly progressed to osteoarthritis. At first I thought nothing of it, just like I'm sure most people do. It was something I tried to ignore and just continue on with my life, but in the three months that the doctors visits had started the pain was only getting worse, the fatigue was beating me up and my couch had become my best friend. It was all draining me, depressing me and I was only on a spiral of down. I finally was told to go to an outside specialist, Dr. Muldoon, who would help me with the pinching and pain. He did an arthroscope and cleaned out the labrum that had been torn, the cartilage that had some loose and tried to find the parts of my femur that had chipped off, but to no avail. When I finally went in for my follow up appointment he explained to me that I have severe arthritis and I was missing a baseball sized chunk of cartilage off of my pelvis where my femur would make contact. Once I realized the severity of the situation I realized how this disability would hinder my life. I began to lose the weight I had gained knowing it would be one of the best ways for my hip to feel a little better, and I also have been going to my doctors religiously. They don't seem to know what to do with me, but they definitely keep finding things wrong with me and adding diagnoses on top of diagnoses. It can be defeating at times and whenever I hang my handicap placard or get my handicap card from Disneyland tears still fill my eyes knowing that there is a part of me that has admitted defeat, because there's not much I can do about the fatigue that happens, or about the accident. Mentally and the physical parts I can control will never be defeated, I will never lose to any of this. I am here to be an inspiration to those who feel as though they can't keep going, those who try to make excuses not to be active. No one can have an excuse not to do anything if they are perfectly healthy and I am hiking mountains... no more excuses...