Here's a link... this site explains what it can do :::: http://www.equine-therapy-programs.com/therapy.html ::::
I have been looking at and researching equine assisted therapy for a couple of years now. The power that a horse has to help with so many disorders and diseases is mind boggling and awe inspiring to me. I know without my horse I would not have found solace in anything. I would have been a depressed wreck and I am not sure what path my life would have gone down. I know that her quiet strength is what kept me going, kept me from giving up so many times. She was always there to give me confidence and inner strength when I thought I had none left. Sitting on top of her and knowing that her and I together make this work, our relationship together is irreplaceable. She greets me in the morning and at night without worrying about what I look like or if I'm limping that day. She doesn't care if I'm in a bad mood or don't like getting out of bed that day, she makes it so I have too. She keeps me moving, keeps me from holing up inside my room and never seeing the sunlight.
I wonder if those with arthritis would be helped by such therapy. I am emailing around to see if any equine therapy programs now cater to those with arthritis. Maybe I can start one, or talk someone into doing so. I think it could help so many people realize that even though they have this disease, this set back, they can still find strength they never knew they had. They still can have control over something, which is their bodies and their horses.
I severely injured my hip when I was 22 years old. Since then I have been diagnosed with traumatic arthritis of the hip, osteoarthritis of the hip and femoral acetabular impingement. This blog is my way of getting out the feelings I have, and the pain and trouble those of us who suffer from arthritis go through on a daily basis. It is a debilitating disease that I believe too many people ignore or set aside as no big deal.
Showing posts with label arthritis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label arthritis. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Such a BEAUTIFUL day...
I woke up to the sun shining and the million birds outside my open door chirping their little heads off.
My pups were in a good mood and my horse was ready to be set free and kick her hooves up around the pasture. I stood in my doorway and took a deep breath in and just enjoyed the peace and serenity take over my body. Soon enough the serenity would end and my anxiety would take over, and then a busy busy day would be at hand.
I grudgingly crawled into my car knowing that today I had to go to the lab to get my blood drawn for my physical. I may be covered in tattoos, but oh how I dread needles being stuck into my arm to draw out fluids that were never meant to leave my body!!! I am still having mini anxiety attacks over it because I am only imagining the worse things that could ever happen or be seen through my blood... ugh... I have these anxiety attacks often, I always think the worst of things. It's just how things in my life seem to go. Ever since I was diagnosed with arthritis I have only received bad news from the doctors and I understand that it's because I can't reverse what's happened to me, that it only gets worse, but still... can't I get some good news from the doctors for once?! Most likely not... it's so hard for me to stay optimistic when it comes to doctors and the news that they give to me. I'm sure that plenty of us who have been diagnosed with arthritis feel the same.
I think that is my biggest complaint of being diagnosed. The doctors always want to give you bad news, but they never want to take more than 5 minutes in the room with you. There's no "do you need anything else", "do you need for me to help you get in contact with those that can help?", it's always "well there's not much we can do, it's advancing but unfortunately none of this can be reveresed", "it's something that you are just going to have to deal with, the only thing we can do is pain management". How 'bout you take 20 minutes out of your oh so busy day and comfort me a little, give me options, let me know and let me feel that as your patient you actually give a fuck about me. Stop pretending that I just stepped in your office and am impeding upon your day, because really for me to come the 40 minutes down the hill for me to get here, the 45 more minutes I get to wait for your nurse to get off her ass to call me 35 minutes after my appointment was made, and then the 20 more minutes it takes for you to get out of your office to come see me I think I deserve more than 5 minutes of your time. I think you should sit your ass on your little stool in front of your little computer and LISTEN to me, stop tinking around, stop putting in orders and filling prescriptions. LISTEN to how much pain I am in, LISTEN to how I can barely make it through a day without being beyond exhausted because of the energy it takes me to get through a day of standing up and sitting down continuously throughout the day. LISTEN to how frustrated I am and how much help I need instead of your half ass attention and your half ass listening skills. It seems as though the ones who become are doctors are the ones who never want to hear their patients, they never wanna hear that the things they are doing aren't helping us. So frustrating and so upsetting! Too bad they aren't going to ever read this, to understand how they make their patients feel. I understand we don't have blood gushing out of a wound, or cancer isn't ravaging our bodies but we are in pain, we hurt everyday, we feel alone, lost and confused... we need your help and expertise and if that isn't something you can give us then maybe just maybe you're in the wrong profession.
My pups were in a good mood and my horse was ready to be set free and kick her hooves up around the pasture. I stood in my doorway and took a deep breath in and just enjoyed the peace and serenity take over my body. Soon enough the serenity would end and my anxiety would take over, and then a busy busy day would be at hand.
I grudgingly crawled into my car knowing that today I had to go to the lab to get my blood drawn for my physical. I may be covered in tattoos, but oh how I dread needles being stuck into my arm to draw out fluids that were never meant to leave my body!!! I am still having mini anxiety attacks over it because I am only imagining the worse things that could ever happen or be seen through my blood... ugh... I have these anxiety attacks often, I always think the worst of things. It's just how things in my life seem to go. Ever since I was diagnosed with arthritis I have only received bad news from the doctors and I understand that it's because I can't reverse what's happened to me, that it only gets worse, but still... can't I get some good news from the doctors for once?! Most likely not... it's so hard for me to stay optimistic when it comes to doctors and the news that they give to me. I'm sure that plenty of us who have been diagnosed with arthritis feel the same.
I think that is my biggest complaint of being diagnosed. The doctors always want to give you bad news, but they never want to take more than 5 minutes in the room with you. There's no "do you need anything else", "do you need for me to help you get in contact with those that can help?", it's always "well there's not much we can do, it's advancing but unfortunately none of this can be reveresed", "it's something that you are just going to have to deal with, the only thing we can do is pain management". How 'bout you take 20 minutes out of your oh so busy day and comfort me a little, give me options, let me know and let me feel that as your patient you actually give a fuck about me. Stop pretending that I just stepped in your office and am impeding upon your day, because really for me to come the 40 minutes down the hill for me to get here, the 45 more minutes I get to wait for your nurse to get off her ass to call me 35 minutes after my appointment was made, and then the 20 more minutes it takes for you to get out of your office to come see me I think I deserve more than 5 minutes of your time. I think you should sit your ass on your little stool in front of your little computer and LISTEN to me, stop tinking around, stop putting in orders and filling prescriptions. LISTEN to how much pain I am in, LISTEN to how I can barely make it through a day without being beyond exhausted because of the energy it takes me to get through a day of standing up and sitting down continuously throughout the day. LISTEN to how frustrated I am and how much help I need instead of your half ass attention and your half ass listening skills. It seems as though the ones who become are doctors are the ones who never want to hear their patients, they never wanna hear that the things they are doing aren't helping us. So frustrating and so upsetting! Too bad they aren't going to ever read this, to understand how they make their patients feel. I understand we don't have blood gushing out of a wound, or cancer isn't ravaging our bodies but we are in pain, we hurt everyday, we feel alone, lost and confused... we need your help and expertise and if that isn't something you can give us then maybe just maybe you're in the wrong profession.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
this one will be short
So tired today... haven't been sleeping well as of late and I have no idea why but it is definitely annoying. I had a good lunch today with Glenn at Poway Sushi Lounge (my fave!!) and then went food shopping and came home to relax. The hip held up somewhat well, the little man came back to pinch me a few times. I guess I don't know how to walk early in the morning and I kept stepping wrong on it. It wasn't the most pleasant feeling but at least I was able to get out of bed and walk without too many problems. I'm so exhausted that I can barely keep my eyes open so that is my cue to drag my ass off the couch and find my way into the bathtub for a nice long soak so I will hopefully have the same luck of being able to just pop out of bed tomorrow morning. I am going to try to get on the elliptical tomorrow morning to give me some energy to get me through the day!
Wish me luck on sleeping!
Wish me luck on sleeping!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
A Bright Spot for the Day
Go to www.fightarthritispain.org or www.arthritis.org for more information about arthritis
Talking to Andrea from AF (Arthritis Foundation) I was able to email a person named Kevin who works out in Arizona with a foundation called Arthritis Introspective. I am hoping that I will be able to become a group facilitator for support groups out here, the same thing they are doing in AZ and some other states. I think it would be something amazing for me to do because I always want to be able to help others who are going through the things that I have been going through, and will be going through. I know what it's like not to have any support, anyone to talk too and I think starting support groups out here would be such a fantastic opportunity. So yay for Andrea!!
The hip was super tight today. It wasn't as hard to get out of bed this morning as yesterday which was somewhat refreshing. It definitely was tight though, felt like all my muscles just clenched up and didn't want to let go. I guess I would rather have that then little pinchy man going to work on my hip! Tomorrow I'm going to hit the elliptical again, but this time try to do the whole 3.1 miles that the AF walk is going to be. It's hard to do this alone, to try to walk and work out without anyone to talk to or do it with. By the time Rob gets home he's too exhausted to do anything, which I completely understand since his job is so labor intensive. Then with me living out in the middle of nowhere no one wants to take the trek up here to walk with me. Gyms are way too expensive, and so is a pool. Hopefully I can land a job soon so I can make one of those happen. I think even if I did have a gym membership it would be a waste of my money because I would still have no one to go with!! Hopefully I can find some free/cheap things to do around town that will let me get acquainted with people and find some new support. I need people to hold me accountable.
I think it may be one of the most frustrating things to deal with when you have OA (osteoarthritis) or any arthritis at all. You gain weight because you are inactive because it hurts. It hurts to walk, to move. Your joints scream at you and your body gets tired so quickly. I used to walk 20 minutes and have to sit down because my hip would tell me "NO MORE WALKING" and if I tried to push through and keep going it would eventually stop working correctly and possibly would have completely given out. Slowly I packed on pounds, 80 to be exact. I was at the heaviest I had ever been and was completely depressed and unmotivated to do anything. I slowly began to lose weight, not easily I might add. Without the possibility of running, jumping, or anything else that may possibly hurt my hip it was difficult to find exercise that I was capable of doing. I used my elliptical and definitely changed my diet to a lot of healthier choices. I lost 40 lbs, but still am on a journey to lose more. Changing the intensity has proven to be so difficult. I used to be so physically fit, and so active. It kills me to find myself sitting on the couch more than I ever have in my life, the least active I have ever been in my life. I just want to be healthy and happy and it seems like the journey to get to either of these places is taking fucking fooooooooorevvvvvvvverrrrrrrr.... one day I'll get there though. One day I'll wake up with minimal to no pain... I'll be able to work out without having to worry about what I'm going to feel like 30 minutes after I'm done... one day...I can always hope and wish upon a thousand stars right?
Talking to Andrea from AF (Arthritis Foundation) I was able to email a person named Kevin who works out in Arizona with a foundation called Arthritis Introspective. I am hoping that I will be able to become a group facilitator for support groups out here, the same thing they are doing in AZ and some other states. I think it would be something amazing for me to do because I always want to be able to help others who are going through the things that I have been going through, and will be going through. I know what it's like not to have any support, anyone to talk too and I think starting support groups out here would be such a fantastic opportunity. So yay for Andrea!!
The hip was super tight today. It wasn't as hard to get out of bed this morning as yesterday which was somewhat refreshing. It definitely was tight though, felt like all my muscles just clenched up and didn't want to let go. I guess I would rather have that then little pinchy man going to work on my hip! Tomorrow I'm going to hit the elliptical again, but this time try to do the whole 3.1 miles that the AF walk is going to be. It's hard to do this alone, to try to walk and work out without anyone to talk to or do it with. By the time Rob gets home he's too exhausted to do anything, which I completely understand since his job is so labor intensive. Then with me living out in the middle of nowhere no one wants to take the trek up here to walk with me. Gyms are way too expensive, and so is a pool. Hopefully I can land a job soon so I can make one of those happen. I think even if I did have a gym membership it would be a waste of my money because I would still have no one to go with!! Hopefully I can find some free/cheap things to do around town that will let me get acquainted with people and find some new support. I need people to hold me accountable.
I think it may be one of the most frustrating things to deal with when you have OA (osteoarthritis) or any arthritis at all. You gain weight because you are inactive because it hurts. It hurts to walk, to move. Your joints scream at you and your body gets tired so quickly. I used to walk 20 minutes and have to sit down because my hip would tell me "NO MORE WALKING" and if I tried to push through and keep going it would eventually stop working correctly and possibly would have completely given out. Slowly I packed on pounds, 80 to be exact. I was at the heaviest I had ever been and was completely depressed and unmotivated to do anything. I slowly began to lose weight, not easily I might add. Without the possibility of running, jumping, or anything else that may possibly hurt my hip it was difficult to find exercise that I was capable of doing. I used my elliptical and definitely changed my diet to a lot of healthier choices. I lost 40 lbs, but still am on a journey to lose more. Changing the intensity has proven to be so difficult. I used to be so physically fit, and so active. It kills me to find myself sitting on the couch more than I ever have in my life, the least active I have ever been in my life. I just want to be healthy and happy and it seems like the journey to get to either of these places is taking fucking fooooooooorevvvvvvvverrrrrrrr.... one day I'll get there though. One day I'll wake up with minimal to no pain... I'll be able to work out without having to worry about what I'm going to feel like 30 minutes after I'm done... one day...I can always hope and wish upon a thousand stars right?
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Doctors, Doctors, Doctors!
Five doctors appointments in less than two weeks. Are you kidding me?! I have a physical to hopefully be able to talk to him about my weight and how I think my hip would work better if I could lose 50 more pounds (let's hope he goes for it!) and then MRI's back to back for my ankle and hip and then onto the podiatrist to find out what has happened to my foot! I have to wait until next week to add on yet another appointment to see my hip doctor and see what the arthogram is telling him. Hopefully none of this leads to any bad news or surgeries, because honestly a break from all this would be so nice. The pain in my hip is something that I think is going to need surgical attention, and that is just so frustrating. I wish there was a way to just magically make the pain go away. If I had a way to work out that didn't cause me an immense amount of stiffness and soreness the next day I would do it, but a pool just costs too much and in this economy there's no way that I would ever be able to afford one! Too bad someone wouldn't just give me one for free, like surprise me with it BOOM there's a pool in my backyard. Wishing hasn't gotten me very far as of yet, but I'll keep doing it because eventually it has to get me somewhere right? Power of suggestion anyone?? Well time to clean to get ready for the birthday party this weekend!! Wish me luck!
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