Sorry I've Been MIA

I've been so busy lately that I haven't been able to find any time to come on here and blog! I felt as though I was neglecting you guys! So let's see... the hip has been off and on, but that's completely normal. I still don't know the results of the MRI, I don't find out until the 28th what it even said, and it's so frustrating to have to wait for so long, more then a month, that's just nuts to me. I guess at least I do get to know... I have a feeling that it will be the same as always. They are going to tell me there's nothing they can do for me, that I'm pretty much on pain maintenance... and well... sorry Melissa but with your previous addictions you will not be able to use anything stronger then an anti-inflammatory... aka... you're shit out of luck of not feeling your pain. I'm okay with it though, this is only making me stronger, making me know that I can deal with this and I can be a strong and amazing person even with the pain I feel all the time. I find I'm not as tired, but I also notice that I haven't been working out like I need to be.
I'm going to look into getting a pool because I feel as though if I had something easy to access like a pool I would be able to do more low impact exercise, which wouldn't make my hip hate me the next day. I think that may be the toughest thing about not being able to "normally" exercise, not be able to jog around the block, it's because when i do, when I even walk too much, the next day for me is absolute hell and I lose all motivation, because really why would I want to feel that pain again? Why would I want to be bed ridden the next day? It's such an unfair double-edged sword. I want to try to find something that will help, some sort of workout that won't aggravate my hip too much or anything, something that will help me keep my motivation to lose these last 50 lbs.
Let's see, what else...I got a new horse! She's a rescue, she has been neglected for the past four years and now I'm trying to get her to trust humans again, to get a connection that may never have been there before if I hadn't stepped in. It's nice to rescue these huge animals and get a connection with them that no one else has ever bothered to have. It makes me feel as though I'm making such a positive change in their life, and they definitely have a huge impact in my life. They get me out and get me moving, they make sure that I don't give up on myself, because if I give up on myself that means I'm giving up on them and that is something that I definitely can't do. I can't let them ever go through the what they have already been through again... it would be unfair to them and me... they are my inspiration... my heart and my soulmates...
Ok time for sleep, I'll definitely try to make it on here more!
GOODNIGHT!!